Mastering Communication Skills: A Coach's Guide to Engaging Conversations
Engaging conversations aren’t set paths with determined markers along the way. For conversations to be truly engaging, they should be alive with focussed listening; vibrant and assured.
DON’T DO ‘DOS AND DON’TS’
I try not to list the dos and don'ts of pitching or presenting. I don't really believe in them because the five things that are right for me won't necessarily be the five things that are right for you.
Conversations are rarely linear, which is why hard and fast rules don’t blend well with something seemingly structureless. What you can do, to help you remain focussed amid the natural flow of conversation, is guarantee confidence with your message. Internal clarity of your message is essential. Though the conversation may meander, you can remain an engaged listener, not grasping at the threads of the story, waiting to interject.
There are skills you can develop to dive into every conversation with confidence and enthusiasm. These communications skills grant you the freedom to not only speak well but, more importantly, listen well. Listening well, demonstrably and with enthusiasm, makes you valuable to your audience. Showing interest in your audience’s thoughts and questions highlights your value as a communication partner.
RULES DON’T CONTROL THE FUN
Rules rarely help in a conversation but being aware of missteps can keep you on track.
When speaking to a large crowd, there can be a power imbalance. You, the speaker, are asking a number of people for their attention. On balance, you are demanding more of the audience than they are of you, and we often feel the pressure to earn their attention. The need to engage a full crowd can often lead to a focus deficit where you grow concerned that you are not living up to their expectations.
It can be tempting in these situations to try and take up less space, take up less time, and attempt to demand less of your audience. We shrink, we apologise with our body language and, in far too many presentations and pitches, we overcompensate with slides and graphics designed to fill in our perceived deficit.
It is a misnomer to think this. Any text in your slides should be concise. Reams, or even chunks of text, will have an adverse effect of splitting your audience’s focus. People struggle to read and listen at the same time so, for any portion of your presentation where there is text to read, your audience is no longer listening to you.
Especially when time is a factor, we can be tempted to squeeze as much information into a slide as possible but this will do you a disservice. You should think of slides in your pitch as your back-up singers or your horn section. They are there to lift up and underscore your points, not distract from the headliner - you.
PEOPLE LIKE TO BE LED
Audiences respond to confidence. A communications coach can help boost that confidence and equip you with a number of tools and tips to support further growth. Confidence comes in a number of guises; the archetypal “confident leader” you are picturing may feel far from your comfort zone. Communication coaching isn’t designed to reform you in this archetypal image. We work with you to shine a spotlight on your existing strengths and furnish you with skills you will be proud to share with an audience.
Confidence is a variable, and should be matched to the environment. A baseball player could be confident with their ability to hit a 90 mph fastball 100% of the time however there’s a dozen environments in which they may feel out of their depth causing that confidence to evaporate.
Projected confidence can be found by identifying the areas in which you are confident and building out from there. Pinpointing the parameters of your expertise and demonstrating those puts your audience in safe hands. As an audience, we like speakers who want to share with us. Regardless of subject matter, if the speaker is excited to talk about it, we are excited to listen.
RESTING AUDIENCE FACE
Whilst audiences benefit when you frame their expectations, so too, can you benefit from a greater understanding of your audience. If you’re the fifth speaker in a lineup of ten, there is value in recognising that midpoint and adapting. If you’re the closing speaker for the day, that can have a different impact on how your audience will be feeling and, therefore, receiving your message.
When I was an actor, it would have been naive of me to give an audition and expect a rapturous crowd carrying me out on their shoulders and throwing roses at my feet. Knowing that I am the thirtieth or fortieth actor they have seen that day, delivering the exact same text, needn’t be disheartening; instead it rationalises my expectations and aligns me with my audience. It allows me to temper my expectations and recognise success relative to the circumstances.
Whether speaking to an individual, pitching to a boardroom or presenting your message in an amphitheatre, it is important for you to have a firm understanding of who your audience is. It is important to meet them where they are; recognise their expectations and your own in order to have maximum impact with your communications goals.
Great conversations require understanding and empathy. At Forefront Coaching, we anchor our sessions in the pursuit of empathy. Understanding our audience; their needs, as well as our own, is crucial work in effective communication
Knowing your audience helps them to better know you. Heightening your understanding of your audience puts you in a position to deliver something of value that will please your crowd and guarantee your message is heard.
